Tag Archives: parenting guidelines

Parenting Tip: Allow Children to Make Mistakes They can Learn from

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mistakes misspelledHave you ever watched your child on the edge of making a mistake? It plays out in slow motion. Perhaps it is something small like trying to pick up too many things at once and having everything slip out of his hands. Or maybe, it is something larger, like spending all her birthday money on a trendy item that you know will fall apart the first time it is worn.

If these scenarios are familiar to you, then this tip will be helpful: Allow your children to make mistakes that they can learn from.

Because parents want their children to be successful, most try to protect their kids from missteps that can lead to disappointment, frustration, or failure. Parents may repeatedly take forgotten homework to school, replace a toy that has been ruined because it was not properly cared for, or try to convince a child to make a wiser choice.

You may know from your greater experience the better action for your children to take. However, rescuing them from poor decisions deprives them of opportunities to learn coping skills to deal with life’s challenges. There are a few things you can do to help your children grow from their mistakes:

  • Let your children know that it is alright to make mistakes, that they do not have to be perfect and that making mistakes is part of being human.
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  • Help them see what mistake they made and how they can avoid it in the future.
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  • Teach them to be kind to themselves when they make a mistake. Be supportive of them as you both use it as a learning experience.
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  • Be a role model for being kind and forgiving to yourself when you make mistakes.

Allowing your children to slip-up in a supportive environment is a gift you can give to them. You can help them grow and bounce back from mistakes. These attitudes will help build resilience.

The post Parenting Tip: Allow Children to Make Mistakes They can Learn from appeared first on The Center for Parenting Education.

Source: Parenting Education


Parenting Tip: Don’t Ask a Question if “No” is Not an Answer

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Think about how many questions you ask your kids in a given day – especially when you are trying to get them to do something. Questions like:

  • “Honey, will you brush your teeth now?”
  • “It’s time to do your homework, okay?”

When trying to get their kids to do the things they should be doing, like making their beds or doing other chores, parents often resort to asking for their kids’ cooperation.

a slash through a question markWhat would happen if you asked your kids, “Do you want to clean your room now?” Hmmm. Let’s see, yes or no? It would be nice to think that your kids would respond, “Yes, Mom. I’ll do that right away.”

But chances are, given the choice, they are much more likely to say “no.” Now you’ve backed yourself into a corner.

So today’s tip is: Don’t ask a question if “no” is not an acceptable answer.

Often parents phrase their demands and expectations for their children in the form of a question because it feels nicer to ask – rather than to tell – children what to do. And that is true.

There is a time and a place to ask for things in a polite manner, like “Do you want to read another book before lights out?” or “Would you like to wear your red shirt today?” And, you should use such questions whenever your children actually do have a choice in the matter.

But there are also times when you really want or expect your children to do something or behave in a certain way. In those cases, don’t ask a question to which “no” is not going to be an acceptable answer.

It is much more effective to use a direct approach and state clearly what it is you want them to do. For example, you can say: “I need you to clean your room before your friend comes over.”

The post Parenting Tip: Don’t Ask a Question if “No” is Not an Answer appeared first on The Center for Parenting Education.

Source: Parenting Education


Parenting Tip: Parent with the big picture in mind

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A dad leaning over helping child with homework

Have you ever wondered how you could turn helping your kids with their homework into something more elevated than just teaching them reading, writing, and math? Without understanding that you can use the opportunity to instill important values in your children, getting your kids to do their homework can feel like pure drudgery.

But if you keep in mind that how you approach your children on any issue, even how they do their schoolwork, will ultimately influence what kind of adults they are going to be, you can do a lot more than just get them to finish their work.

So, today’s tip is: Parent with the big picture in mind.

It is true that as you guide your children in completing homework, you are teaching them specific academic skills related to the assignment. However, while you are doing that, you can also teach them how to approach life with balance, to be organized, to delay gratification, to be responsible, and at the same time, to find enjoyment.

With this long-term view, you can approach the day-to-day steps of doing homework, guiding them, and even practicing instruments and finishing nighttime rituals, as part of the larger picture. Any interaction with your kids can be an opportunity to develop the character traits you would like them to have.

Parents usually find a great deal more satisfaction when they keep in mind the bigger vision of raising happy, successful, caring and responsible adults.

The post Parenting Tip: Parent with the big picture in mind appeared first on The Center for Parenting Education.

Source: Parenting Education


Parenting Tip: Choose Chores that Fit your Child’s Interests

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This tip revolves around that dreaded “C” word – chores.

Do your children have assigned chores to do around the home? Are they doing them?

Mkids helping out and doing chores in kitchenany parents find that chores can be a real source of angst, with parents spending most of their time reminding, nagging and even begging their kids to do them, while their kids are doing everything possible to avoid them.

To make the whole chore process work more smoothly, choose chores that fit your child’s temperament and personality. I have three very different children and, not surprisingly, they are also very different when it comes to preferences for chores.

So how can you discover which chores will be best for your children?

You may want to start by asking them for input to find out what chores they don’t mind doing and which ones they would really prefer to not have on their list. The bonus here is that when kids are given some choices in the matter, they are much more likely to stick with any decisions made.

Think about what makes each of your children unique. Here are some things to consider:

  • Are your children generally active or do they prefer quieter activities? I have a daughter that never seems to sit still. I discovered that chores that allow her to
    move around, like carrying dirty clothes to the laundry room and vacuuming, are more likely to get done versus those that don’t require as much movement. My youngest son, on the other hand, prefers activities that are more sedentary. For him, clipping coupons out of the Sunday newspapers proves to be a good fit.

 

  • Next, do your children prefer to do things alone or with others? My oldest son prefers to work alone without help, so his list of chores includes things like mowing the lawn and taking out the trash. My youngest son, however, likes to be with others, plus he often requires help with chores, so he gets called to work with me when it is time to sort and fold the laundry.

 

  • Next, think about what interests your children have and how that can be combined with doing chores. My daughter loves animals so she agreed to take on the task of feeding and walking the family dog. My oldest son loves music so he tunes in while washing the dishes. My youngest loves cooking and is an eager helper with preparing meals.

Other things you can consider are whether your children like to do things at a set day/time or do they like things to be more random? Would they prefer the same chore over and over, or do they like variety?

When you take the time to identify chores that match each of your children’s unique personalities, then you are helping to set the stage for success and you are more likely to get cooperation from your children.

Now keep in mind that this probably will not eliminate all of your kid’s complaints about doing chores. Kids will still be kids, but in the end, you may find that when it comes to actually doing the chores, your children may be a little less resistant to doing those that fit their personalities.

By Deanna Bosley, Certified Parenting Educator

The post Parenting Tip: Choose Chores that Fit your Child’s Interests appeared first on The Center for Parenting Education.

Source: Parenting Education


Parenting Guidelines for New Parents

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Parenting Guidelines: How to Avoid Bad Parenting Practices

 

Parenting Guidelines on Bad Parenting Practices to Avoid

It’s not easy being a new parent, or when you are expecting the first addition to your family,  and it can be quite scary too, because you have no idea what to expect.  These bad parenting guidelines will show you things to avoid when rearing your children, while making you a parent they will love and trust while growing up.

One of the most important traits you should have as a parent is patience, especially for children in the 21st century that have minds and wills of their own, and also that become hooked on technology in their early years. Without patience there will be a lot of conflict mistrust and lack of communication which can damage the parent child relationship… parenting guidelines and advice for new parents  will give you a roadmap to parenting success, and the effect it will have on your children to develop into well balanced teenagers and afterwards adulthood.

Parenting Guidelines

 

Parenting Guidelines: What you should avoid in parenting.

1) Although many times when children fail you will be tempted to criticize them avoid doing so. Rather spend time and effort teaching them how to excel in what they do, and take an active interest in what they like. When children are criticizes and constantly broken down by parents they will develop a negative mindset which will affect their lives when they grow older. Most children seek their parent’s approval and praise when they succeed so be there and give it to them when it is necessary without over doing it.

2) Avoid mentally and verbally abusing your children which happens a lot when parents are angry. Sometimes in anger things may be said to the child that cannot be taken back. If you are mad at your children first take time to cool off yourself and when you have sit them down and have a heart h top heart talk with them.

3) When scolding or punishing children explain to them what the reason are that you are doing so clearly and tell them how to avoid these mistakes in the future. Don’t just send them to their rooms, ground them or punish them and then leave them to try and figure out why you have in the first place.

4) Show trust in your children and let them know that you trust them and it is vital not to break trust between you. This is where lines of communication must stay open between you and your children so that problems can be openly discussed and resolved.

5) An Important tip in parenting guidelines is that you must spend time with your children as much as possible. In busy fast paced lifestyles with both parents often having their own careers it can be easy to neglect a child.

6) Children need their parents, they need parental support and they need parental guidance and when you don’t spend time with them then these are all absent from your Child’s life while they are growing up.

 

There are many other parenting guidelines but the obvious ones for taking care of children is making sure that you attend to their needs if food , clothing , shelter education, entertainment and diet. If you are a parent to be there are going to be some tough times ahead and responsibilities that you now have for the rest of your life. Should you be planning a family make sure yo0u are ready to have children because they are your children for life.

There are many other parenting guidelines that you will find online with some research as well as in the many guides and parent training you can have a look at on this website.

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